be who you want to be

people always say that when you move to a new place you can become who you want to be. you can put the old you in the past and become whoever you want. I'll relate this to the transition to university because that's what i know best. I made the transition in September 2016 and before i left school all me teachers and pupil support teachers told me i could leave the "school me" behind and become who i wanted. this sounds good and for the person saying it makes it sound as though they care but really there filling you with a false sense of hope. its easy for people to say "your only shy if you let yourself be" or " your the only one to blame for letting yourself be a walkover" we've all heard something along these lines. but the thing is, it only really benefits the person saying it because they get those five seconds of feeling good about them selves, they feel as though they've made a difference to someone's life. in reality they made the person think positively for a moment but when it comes to the follow through it all goes tits up because its not who they are. if you just tell someone they can be someone different without any means of showing them how to become that new person you are setting them up for failure. like when i was in school i never spoke to anyone outside my maybe five friends. it would get to the point where i wouldn't even ask my biology teacher for help because i was too shy to talk. i was afraid of being judged or laughed at. now i know i wouldn't have but at the time i had that level of nervousness that i just "suffered in silence." I moved into uni halls at the beginning of September, that first fortnight i changed to much. it was the deep end i had never seen before and until that point i didn't think i could swim but as it turns out i'm pretty darn good at it. i made some amazing friends of whom now i couldn't manage life without. i was sling-shotted out of my comfort zone but it was much needed.
Looking at myself now i am still the same person, so the phrase "be who you want to be" doesn't so much as mean change who you are as a person but more add characteristics to the already developing you to create a more adaptable person. i feel if you change who you are you will meet people and be associated with groups, or movements you aren't really related too. for example; of you were a total -and i'm gonna be stereotyping here-geek in one school, were talking video games and fan fiction. if you move school and decide you dint fit in well before so decide to start sports to fit in, your heart isn't gonna be in it. you'll gain basketball friends instead of comic con friends, you'll get roped into clubs and societies you don't want to truly be in all because you were you you thought you "wanted to be" i'm still the same person in that i am still way too emotionally attached to everything i say or that gets said to me. i still take things to heart more then i shouldn't but i own a lot to my roommate who "doesn't give a shit about anything" she is really rubbing off on me. when i'm running about like a headless chicken on steroids just seeing her chilling knowing she has 18 lectures and two essays to go over makes me kind of see things in perspective. now i've chilled off on the steroids and am in such a better state because of it.
since coming to university the girl who wouldn't speak to her teacher and ask for help has spoken up in lab practicals and even a few times in lecture theaters, not asking questions but more just joining in in question answer sessions and discussions. i have been putting my point across. there was even one time where i got a question completely wrong on the recorded lecture presentation...shit. yes i was embarrassed and even more so when i heard my voice on the recording but honestly i got over it because no body cares but me. i am a walking example of how just be starting off talking to ,well in my case it was four new people can escalate to whatever you want it to. im not going to restrict it. ok i did sign up to join the swim team, pay the £150 fee then chicken out of going to the "give it a go" session but come on! baby steps.